All the single ladies

26 Mar

Tonight I’m a single lady.  The Husbot is going to watch a Japanese film with his parents and eat deep dish pizza.  I decided to pass.

It’s so much easier for me to eat sensibly when I’m alone.  I don’t feel pressure from anyone to eat what they want me to, how much they want me to, and how often they want me to.  I realize that’s probably was I was so much thinner in college–I just ate when I wanted, and what I wanted, without having to coordinate with anyone else.  But that’s not my life anymore, now I’m married.

Yesterday was a pretty good eating day, and again I’m glad I saved up some calories to enjoy at night.  I was seriously *starving* when I got home.  I know that’s the M.O. of a diet, but I’m not on a diet, I’m just watching what I eat.  And I’m trying to eat more mindfully.

Remember how I said I felt pressure to eat at work?  Tonight we’re having an anniversary celebration of sorts and there’s going to be snacks and cake.  Will I have any? Maybe.  A piece of cake will probably pass through my lips.  But since I’m alone tonight for dinner I know the cake won’t set me off course too badly.

I got a new shipment of clothes I ordered for myself after my birthday a few weeks ago.  Fecking Gap, they taunt me with their 15/20/30% off sales and I CAN’T RESIST.  I’m actually pretty happy with all of the things that I got, sans a tank top or two.  Everything I don’t want will be returned tonight, along with some birthday gift stragglers.

I bought a pair of size 6jeans when I did the online haul, and attempted to put them on last night.  They fit, but they’re tight as hell.  I wore them to work today to loosen them up a little bit, but I’m not gonna lie, they’re digging into my hips right now.  Oiy, to think I was once wearing a size 4Long at Gap, and now these 6s are practically cutting off my circulation.  Size doesn’t matter when you’re comfortable with it, but when you’re not it’s really upsetting.  God, that sounds superficial.

I haven’t weighed myself yet, which is weird for me.  Sometimes I like to weigh myself because it helps to see small losses, even if they’re only water-weight ounces.  It keeps me motivated.  But Aunt Flo is visiting and I just don’t have the resolve in me to see any kind of situational gain, menstrual bloat or not.

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